Heartburn and Muumuus

Last night, L had a cold, and I had horrible heartburn.  I've read the books (and the internet), and I know that heartburn is a very common pregnancy symptom.  And, to be honest, I've had heartburn in varying degrees pretty much since we found out about Cletus.  (I think it kind of makes up for the fact that I haven't been very pukey, but my sister would probably disagree and then threaten to punch me again.) 

But last night was the kind of heartburn that made me realize that my kishkas are all moved around where they're not supposed to be, and OMG it's only the end of week 14 and I have 26 weeks of this shit to go, and I'm just going to get more gigantic, and the heartburn is only going to get worse . . .

So yeah.  I'm a big fat baby, both figuratively and literally.

Anyway, this brings me to my real topic:  weight gain and maternity clothing.  As in, I am getting really fat really fast, and I'm going to have to get maternity clothing soon, and I am scared to death of the idea of it.  And to think that about 3 years ago, I was the same size that I was at 22, and I will probably never see that size again.  So I'm probably going to have to clean out my closets and drawers and get rid of all sorts of things that I've been holding on to, beautiful things that I am fairly certain will never fit me again.  Sob.

I'm going to have to replace all of my cute stuff with baggy shapeless muumuus.  SOB!

L, because he is wonderful and positive and optimistic, is, naturally, excited about the whole process.  He looks forward to my "bump" (oh, how I hate that word!) looking more bump-like and less like I've spent the last three months eating nothing but pie -- WHICH I HAVEN'T, but that's what it currently looks like.  (Note:  I have gained less than 5 pounds.  It's just all in my midsection.)

So, anyway, I feel like a giant, round, blimp already, and I have six months to go.